good

Told my wife once that I'm a bad person doing good in the world. That confused her but I let the matter drop. I didn't say that if I was a good person, we wouldn't be in a sexless marriage. I don't think she'd want to have that conversation. I think she's quite comfortable with how things are now. 

And the thing is, I did end up a pretty good person. I am doing good, and often where it counts. But I'm not who I wanted to be. I want to be wanted. As a man. As a sexual being. And I'm just not. That's not who I will get to be and I just don't know how to accept this.